英语幽默笑话

    　英语笑话一

　　was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.

　　So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching2 into the large one.

　　Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.

　　Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?

　　妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。

　　所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。

　　哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。

　　对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?

　　英语笑话二

　　A muter1 sitting on a subway train reading a paper back was so sprawled2 out in the seat that the woman next to him had very little room. When she asked if he could move a bit, he refused.

　　Just then, a man opposite them yelled, "Why don't you sit like a human being!"

　　"What are you going to do if I don't?" ca the reply.

　　"Well, for one thing, I'll tell you how that book ends."

　　一位跑地铁通勤的家伙四肢伸展地坐在座位上看着一本平装小说。他旁边的女士被挤的实在难忍，便要求稍微挪动一下，却遭到了他的拒绝。

　　这时，坐在对面的一位先生喊道“你为什么不能像人一样坐着呢?”

　　“我就是不愿意，看你能把我怎么样?”

　　那个人回答说“那好，只有一个办法了，我会告诉你这本书是怎样结的尾。”

　　英语笑话三

　　One day a kind man t a panicky little boy in his neighbor-hood when he was going ho from his office.

　　He noticed that the boy seed to have fought with other boys. He kindly said: "Why do you have a black eye, little man? I am sorry to see that?"

　　Unexpectedly the boy replied angrily: "Don't bother . You go ho to feel sorry for your own little boy-he has got two!"

　　有一天一个好心的人下班回家时，在他居住的小区里碰到一个神色慌张的小男孩。

　　他注意到这个孩子像是刚和别的孩子打过架，就亲切的对他说“小家伙，你怎么会有个黑眼眶呀?看到你这样，我很为你难过?”

　　不料这个小男孩竟然气冲冲地回答说“别烦我。你回家去为你自己的小男孩难过吧。他有两个黑眼眶。”